Crank yankers
by Giovanni1
Summary: My skit is about the tv hit show Crank Yankers
1. Bobby Wants A Wrench

3:09 p.m "Bobby wants a wrench" In the Garage. Calls Dick Birchum.  
ring ring  
  
Birchum: Hello  
  
Bobby: um.  
  
Birchum: who's this.?  
  
Bobby: the name is Fletcher, Bobby Fletcher  
  
Birchum: hey boy you trying to impress me, what you want  
  
Bobby: hey man if talking with a.. (Birchum interrupted him)  
  
Birchum: listen god dammit kid tell me what the hell you want  
  
Bobby: um... Mr. Birchum (yeah) I had a problem  
  
Birchum: what kind of problem Technical problem? Mechanical problem? Dating problem?  
  
Bobby: a Mechanical problem! My car.  
  
Birchum: your car? You drive?  
  
Bobby: yeah, I just wanted to know if you could lend me a wrench.  
  
Birchum: me? lend you my wrench, YOU WANT ME TO LEND YOU MY WRENCH? I won't even lend my mother my wrench; do you know how to fix a car?  
  
Bobby: laughing I guess, ill try  
  
Birchum: bastards like u. (Bobby interrupted)  
  
Bobby: who you calling a bastard (you) hey old guy you sound like you chocked on a cock after a good long meal  
  
Birchum: how dare you, how dare you use that language in front of BURP hey you pussy learn your fuckin manners BURP  
  
Bobby: I only wanted a (piece of shit) what (you heard pussy) BURP a freaking wrench  
  
Birchum: get your non-smart ass up and buy one BURP heard BURP go BURP buy BURP one. Would you quit?  
  
Bobby: sorry I bought a nut buster soda and it makes me BURP BURP  
  
Birchum: hey you low life piece of shit I'm not your mother for you to be talking to me like that neither your gay friends or your homo cup-cake father of yours  
  
Bobby: I can't belch?  
  
Birchum: bobby bobby bobby YOU JUST DON'T GET IT THREW YOUR HORNY THICK HEAD  
  
Bobby: hey I'm not the one jacking off over. (WHAT)  
  
Birchum: how I know you want that wrench to fix your car. You probably order porno tapes and start jacking off with my wrench, people like you don't deserve to get love from a scrawny white hoe  
  
Bobby: cause those bitches aren't worth shit, non like your wife, she be dangling over my sweaty rope and sucking the crap out of it  
  
Birchum: hey you pussy kid I've been in war before I've lost a leg and (so what) what do you mean so what , I had the steel nuts to go on the front line , and step on a fuckin land mine that blew my fuckin leg away that led me with a prosthetic leg  
  
Bobby: OK finish with your speech  
  
Birchum: yes I did  
  
Bobby: the only thing I want is the wrench  
  
Birchum: yeah you called me for a wrench.(yeah) so get your ass over here  
  
Bobby: OK  
  
Birchum: you know were I live?  
  
Bobby: NO  
  
Birchum: ummm??? Too bad, BYE  
  
Bobby: But..  
  
Birchum: .............  
  
(Both hangs up)  
  
Please review!!!!! When you review RATE MY SKIT 1-4 STARS 


	2. Cat Bite

8:48 a.m "Cat Bite" 0.2 In the house. Calls the Vet  
  
Ring ring  
  
The Vet: hello this is the vet may I help you  
  
Hassadah: um. hello is this the vet  
  
The Vet: yeah  
  
Hassadah: I have a problem my cat bit me in the ass, and it burns  
  
The Vet: um.  
  
Hassadah: do you have a cure for it? It burns like hell  
  
The Vet: let's see .  
  
Hassadah: COME ON BITCH  
  
The Vet: what??  
  
Hassadah: no, not you my cat is threatening me, IT'S GONNA KILL ME, THAT FUCKIN CAT WANTS MY PUSSY, HELP!!!  
  
The Vet: oh, do you need the. (Hassadah interrupted)  
  
Hassadah: LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BITCH  
  
The Vet: oh my gosh  
  
Hassadah: not you, you bitch, my cat  
  
The Vet: hey I'm trying to help  
  
Hassadah: no you not, you just standing there hearing me AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
The Vet: you know what I'm sorry, you should call the cops and for your cat bite put on some Vaseline I need to go I have some business to handle I'm busy  
  
Hassadah: what are you going to do get fucked or something huh! You stupid bitch You sold me that cat YOU SOLD ME THAT CAT and that cat bit me in the ass  
  
The Vet: I can't do any thing about it  
  
Hassadah: I'm gonna sue your ass  
  
The Vet: huh it's not my fault please  
  
Hassadah: please??  
  
The Vet: crying why you stupid bitch  
  
Hassadah: come over here and cure my ass  
  
The Vet: NO  
  
Hassadah: ok (The vet hangs up)  
  
The Vet: .....................  
  
Hassadah: heh heh heh heh Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (MEOW) good kitty  
  
(Both hang up)  
  
Please review!!!!!! When you review, can you rate my story of 1-4 stars. 


	3. Ken's Releasing His Sins

11:34 p.m "ken's releasing his sins" 0.3 In his house. Calls the priest  
  
ring ring  
  
Priest: may thy lord be with you, may I please cure you weaknesses  
  
Ken: uh. Father?  
  
Priest: yes my son  
  
Ken: I'm calling to release my sins  
  
Priest: ok, you really need to come over here  
  
Ken: over where  
  
Priest: over to thy church to release your sins, don't you want to release your sins?  
  
Ken: why not through the phone  
  
Priest: probably they are people on the other phone line hearing your sins  
  
Ken: come on please  
  
Priest: I'm sorry I. I. I can't  
  
Ken: come on let me try  
  
Priest: are you sure  
  
Ken: yes  
  
Priest: sighed OK I'm listening  
  
Ken: ok. Father! I've been nutty  
  
Priest: yes  
  
Ken: I've cursed a lot, I've sent a post card with a gift inside (what gift) I actually spit inside the card (oh lord) I've had sexual relationships with my 3rd grade teacher Mr. Finley 4th grade teacher Mr. Sandler (ok) I've smoked weed every day, call my sister a hoe, kick my cat around, fucked my dog, buying ice-cream and sticking it up my.( The Priest interrupts)  
  
Priest: OK, let thy lord forgive those sins .Amen  
  
Ken: thanks father  
  
Priest: you'll never do those sins again right?  
  
Ken: right!  
  
Priest: ok, bye  
  
Ken: bye  
  
Priest: ..................  
  
Ken: yeah right  
  
(both hangs up) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Please review!! Can you rate my story from 1-4 stars? 


	4. Wanna War With Me?

2:00 a.m "Wanna War With Me?" 0.4 In the girls bathroom. Calls her teacher Ms. McGreat  
  
  
  
Teacher: Hello  
  
Katrina: HELLO! BITCH Remember me?  
  
Teacher: who are you young lady?  
  
Katrina: your mother!  
  
(The teacher hanged up)  
  
Katrina: oh no this bitch didn't just hanged up on me!  
  
  
  
Teacher: Hello  
  
Katrina: you think I'm playing games? You failed me in 4th grade.  
  
Teacher: you deserve it, you black piece of shit.  
  
Katrina: at least I had a MAN non like you, FLIRTING WITH THE GUY THAT CLEANS THE TOILET  
  
Teacher: at that time you didn't know your ABCs  
  
Katrina: at that time you were 26 and still FLAT CHESTED  
  
Teacher: don't you tell any body about this conversation  
  
Katrina: BYE BITCH  
  
Teacher: JUMP OFF SLUT  
  
Katrina: by the way I have three lines open. Bye  
  
(Katrina hanged up)  
  
Willfred: Hey Miss. Flatty  
  
Teacher: HUH  
  
Matt: Flirting with the GUY THAT CLEANS TOILETS what a bitch  
  
Bobby: Hi, Ms. McGriddles   
  
Teacher: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH  
  
...........  
  
(all hanged up)  
  
Please review!!!!! When you review RATE MY SKIT 1-4 STARS 


	5. Baby Gone Bad

7:55 p.m "Baby Gone Bad" 0.5 In the Music Store. Calls one of the Employee  
  
  
  
Employee: Hello!  
  
Spoonie: hey, sir. I just called to tell you if the new release of Sir Mix A lot came out? You know the one that says ''I like big butts but I can not lie''  
  
Employee: ummmm... Let's see ...YES  
  
Spoonie: YEAH! THANX A LOT DUDE! Get it ''THANX A LOT / SIR MIX A LOT?  
  
Employee: NO  
  
Spoonie: OH  
  
Employee: it's the clean version, what is called again?  
  
Spoonie: the song is called ''Baby Got Back"  
  
Employee: zzzz..S..ta.tic..zzz  
  
Spoonie: BABY GOT BACK  
  
Employee: zzz..B.a...by's.ZZzz.G...one.Bad?  
  
Spoonie: NO! you retard BABY GOT BACK  
  
Employee: BABY GONE BAD?  
  
Spoonie: the one that says ''I like big BUTTS"  
  
Employee: zzz.I.like.B...IG.NUTS?  
  
Spoonie: YOU PUSSY PERVERT BASTARD  
  
Employee: you gay, Lonely, FAG  
  
Spoonie: OK I NEED THAT ALBUM PLEASE  
  
Employee: now your begging?  
  
Spoonie: ummm. YEAH  
  
Employee: ok on your way home its only $14.00 Spoonie: how can I Ship it  
  
Employee: post card, money order, post office BYE  
  
Spoonie: WAIT (Employee hanged up)FUCKING BASTARD! 


End file.
